:(

so the other night i had a dream that i was at oak hill and the whole youth group was there and we were putting on a play(you know how these dreams are) and it was all really fun... so i think im homesick(churchsick?) but then again, i cant go back.... i dont even think i want to because at ferguson i realive how a church is supposed to feel... ur supposed to feel loved and accepted and i wasnt feeling much of that at oak hill, and when i did it was allways because im heathers sister
    ur also not suposed feel left out because everyones four or five years older than u, or that they want nothing to do with u until heathers gone and they only want u to replace her....... but i still mis these people.. maybe not them all, but definetly the ones who WERNT CONSTANTLY CALLING ME HEATHER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
seiriously, it happend. ALOT i enjoy it whe if someones going to say four words to me, ist not"hows heather doing" because honestly, by the end of church that day i wanna be like "go ask the other 15 people who said that exact same thing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" and when they said something to me it would be:
person: oh hi,..... ummm
me: amanda?
Person: yeah! wait, ur heathers sister right? hows she doing?
me:FINE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(ok i dont say it like that but..............)
ok i dont miss them somuch............ and i want to send a formal appology out to heather, i dont hate u its just thats how the church treated me